Bible Class Topic: Relationship - Marriage/Cohabiting

Cohabiting: Meaning – Sharing, Live together, be roommate, have a joint household, live in sin, shack up etc. It is interesting to know that the word friendship or friend is not mentioned in the meaning of cohabiting, which means people can cohabit without being friends. 

Remember the key is that before you go into any relationship there are three things to consider and they are: 

1. Your relationship with God 

2. The purpose of that relationship 

3. And consider that the relationship will definitely affect your future either positive of otherwise.

Case Study Text: 

“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”

1 Corinthians 15:33

Flimsy Excuses People Give why they go into cohabiting:

From series of interactions and interviews I’ve had with people I can deduce these probable reasons why they go into cohabiting 

1. Pear Pressure – Some people are into cohabiting because of the suggestion from their colleagues. (You shouldn’t be a push over, you have to have your own mind) 

2. Complying with what is obtainable – imitating others, just because someone or people are doing it, you fall in line…(remember you are not others) 

3. Insecurity – Because you feel insecure to stay in a harsh economic environment then the tendency to put up with a man/woman is there…(This depicts lack of trust on God) 

4. Laziness – I cannot do that or this for myself e.g wash, cook, so I need someone to help me… (This depicts Lack of proper planning and home training). 

5. Pity – You hear some say, I felt for the girl, I want to help her; the girl has no place to stay etc… (You have to do things out of compassion not out of pity). 

6. Sexual Predators – Because they need a woman to satisfy their sexual insatiability –they give excuses like ‘you know I’m human my body needs it’ (As believers we don’t walk by the dictates of our body). 

7. Greedy – Some lures women or girls to cohabit with them because they want to make money out of them. 

The Disadvantages Of Cohabiting Before Marriage 

1. It is against God’s standard for marriage and should not be condone among Christians (Remember the word fiancĂ©e doesn’t exist in the bible what we have is husband and wife) Hebrews 13:4, 

2. 95% of cohabiting couple doesn’t end up in marriage… So the chances of getting married if you are in a cohabiting setting are very slim. 

3. It amounts to waste of time, energy, risks (So many live in a cohabiting marriage as if they are already married) such is a futile effort. 

4. It prevents someone from getting the genuine suitor (husband to be or wife to be) because someone is occupying you … 

5. It is disrespectful in sight of the society and hence attracts some social stigma from people. 

6. It leads to frequent abortion of babies…. (Because nobody wants to have baby outside marriage). This may likely reduce one’s chances of having babies when the need arises. 

7. It worn-out the body and beauty of a woman… (Because so much energy and time has been spent in maintaining the cohabiting and in it, aging and depletion comes). 

8. The family members from the side of the woman somehow see it as insult to their family dignity.

How To Avoid Cohabiting:

1. Always consider your relationship with God. 

2. Consider who you are, so that you don’t waste or ruin your life, your life is very precious than anything this world or money can offer. 

3. Be patient – Don’t quickly give in to lust of the eyes 

4. Occupy yourself with the things of God and you will have no time for most unwanted things of this life 

5. Seek advice from your spiritual father (pastor) 

6. Examine those that are already into it, you will hear regretful stories… So be careful because it might also happen to you. 

7. It is very possible to live a successful life without a man. Your life shouldn’t pivot around a man. (Is a matter of choice). 

8. Tell your parents the true nature of the situation and seek advice from them. 

9. Consider your life and future that is at stake.

How To Come Out Cohabiting

1. Take a step of faith… Because God is faithful and He will be you. 

2. Again seek advice from your pastor or spiritual mentor 

3. Tell your parents about it. 

4. Talk your partner into making the marriage genuine. 

5. Pray because with prayer you can change anything. 

6. Consider that it is an insult to your family to live with man/woman without their approval.